WWE “WrestleMania 23″

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents “WrestleMania 23″
April 1, 2007
Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan
80,103 Fans
With Commentary by Raw’s Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler, Smackdown’s Michael Cole and John “Bradshaw” Layfield, and ECW’s Joey Styles and Tazz

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Mr. Kennedy vs. “The Rated R Superstar” Edge vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker (with Queen Sharmell) vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton

The match starts with a gigantic cluster-****, as if you were expecting anything else. Finlay astounds with a rare Suicide Body Press off the top rope to the floor into a pile of guys. There’s a few spots involving men being thrown off ladders, but since everyone’s fresh they all land on their feet and keep the mayhem going. Edge throws a ladder at CM Punk and busts him open, while King Booker busts out an ultra-rare Spinaroonie. Edge manages to hit a Spear on everyone except CM Punk , and then the commentary teams share a “Size Matters” joke as Edge brings in a ladder so tall the Money in the Bank briefcase can be reached halfway up the ladder. In truly epic fashion, Jeff nails a ****ing insane move: he leaps off a huge ladder in-ring to the outside, crashing through Edge, who had been on a ladder that was propped up between the ring apron and the guardrail. Not only does the ladder shatter, both men are carted off in stretchers. Randy Orton manages to RKO Matt Hardy, Finlay, and Mr. Kennedy before busting out a Super RKO off a ladder to CM Punk. King Booker responds with a Book End off a ladder to Orton. Hornswoggle comes out and tries to help Finlay, but ends up taking a Green Bay Plunge off a ladder from Mr. Kennedy. CM Punk and Kennedy battle atop a ladder until Kennedy is tossed off. Kenny ends up ramming a ladder into CM Punk’s face, and he’s able to climb up high and pry down the Money in the Bank briefcase at 19:05.

Analysis: Who says WWE can’t do epic spotfests in this day and age? Not only was it a blissful cluster-**** of madness, it featured men I’d never think would be good in a ladder match excelling in ways I never thought of. Honestly, people like King Booker and Finlay in a huge Ladder match? That doesn’t sound very appealing on paper. But then we get Finlay giving us a jaw-dropping Body Press and King Booker Book Ending people off ladders. Then, we’ve got both the Hardys and Edge. Those three are synonymous with crazy-insane-awesome Ladder matches, and helped establish this type of match as an epic beauty. Throw in talents like Mr. Kennedy, CM Punk, and Randy Orton, and you’ve got a match made in cluster-**** heaven. With so much diverse talent mixing together so well, this is one of the best opening matches I’ve ever seen. It’s an instant classic of crazy stunts, great action, and a constant aura of drama and unpredictability. ***¾

The Great Khali vs. Kane

Kane is quickly dominated, and gets cut off with punches when he attempts to use his See No Evil chain/hook thing. Kane does manage to get in an impressive slam on Khali, but Khali ends up winning with a dominating Double-Armed Choke Bomb at 5:31.

Analysis: Well, at least it didn’t totally suck. Definitely a standard big-man match, definitely one hell of a squash. If you’ve seen The Great Khali, it’s easy to share in the following sentiment: he’s had plenty of worse matches than this. This one gets a standard rating if only because it was mercifully short and somehow managed to not suck horribly. **½

World Heavyweight Championship Match: “The Animal” Batista © vs. “The Phenom” The Undertaker

Batista starts the match by immediately spearing Undertaker, leading us into the big men brawling with each other for quite a while. Undertaker nails some of his high-impact signature moves, but Batista fights out of a Chokeslam. Undertaker hits his rarely-seen but equally as awe-inspiring Over-Ropes Running Suicide Dive, but Batista is able to mount a comeback by going ballistic with all kinds of powerful offense. In a crazy moment, Batista hits a Powerslam from the Raw commentary table through the ECW commentary table. After some very nice nearfalls, including both men kicking out of some finishers, The Undertaker hits the Tombstone Piledriver to win the match and keep the legendary streak alive and strong after 15:47.

Analysis: Effective. That’s what comes to mind when I try to describe this match. It’s a highly effective power match. What do I mean by effective? Simply put, it got everything over. Batista’s strength got over. Batista’s passion got over. Batista’s anger got over. Undertaker’s veteran status got over. Undertaker’s quiet refusal to surrender got over. Everything that could ever possibly define the Batista and Undertaker characters was brought out, and everything got over. It falls short of being really good because it’s a straight-up power-on-power match, and most truly great matches have to have a “Jack of All Trades” atmosphere to warrant a big rating. For what it was, though, it had an absolute perfect aura of two titans putting it all on the line with their two most prized possessions hanging in the balance: Batista’s World Heavyweight Championship and the legendary undefeated streak of the Undertaker. It may have fallen just a bit short of true greatness, but it’s the best I could’ve personally expected. ***¼

The ECW Originals (Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, The Sandman and Rob Van Dam) vs. The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker and Kevin Thorn) (with Ariel)

Sabu starts out with a Springboard Clothesline and a Springboard Back Kick to Matt Striker, then Tommy Dreamer becomes the whipping boy of The New Breed. Dreamer gets a hot tag to RVD, who cleans house. After a short melee, Rob Van Dam plants Matt Striker with a 5 Star Frog Splash at 6:25 to get the win.

Analysis: Man, that’s a short match. Everyone managed to get in their spots, but it was clear from the opening bell that this was going to boil down to one gigantic brawl. It’s a moderately entertaining match, but the gist of it is that it’s too short and features way too many competitors. Plus, it’s not even Extreme Rules. It’s very spastic, almost overly so, but you’ll get some enjoyment out of it. **½

“Battle of the Billionaires” Hair vs. Hair Match: Bobby Lashley (Representing Donald Trump) vs. Umaga (Representing Vince McMahon) (with Armando Alejandro Estrada)
With “Stone Cold” Steve Austin as Special Guest Referee

Both men tear into each other, with Stone Cold calling it down the line and not being afraid to get a little physical with both men. Lashley nails Armando Estrada with a running powerslam, but Stone Cold lets it go. Both men take some nasty falls to the outside, as well. Lashley is quickly on the defensive, and gets a Samoan Drop for his efforts when he tries to fight back. Lashley nails a massive clothesline, then Stone Cold pries Umaga off of Lashley one too many times and gets served up a Samoan Spike. This leads to interference from Shane McMahon, but Shane-O is soon thwarted by a returning Steve Austin. Umaga tries the Samoan Spike again, but Austin counters it into a Stone Cold Stunner. This allows Lashley to hit a spear at 13:04 to win the match. Post-match, Vince is shaved bald and Stone Cold celebrates with Trump and Lashley before giving Trump a Stone Cold Stunner of his very own.

Analysis: I admit, I was surprised how much I enjoyed this match. It may have been very basic in-ring wise, but this thing excels in drama. It always felt like a toss-up in the ring as to who would win, despite mostly everyone knowing that Donald Trump would never agree to shave his head bald, making the winner a forgone conclusion. But despite this, these two pulled a good match out of each other that really showed off their power. Stone Cold helped add to the drama as well, and it was great to see him give a Stunner to Trump. While the match itself is good enough, the great moments afterward of Vince getting shaved bald and Stone Cold raising hell helped elevated the match even more. ***¼

Lumberjill Match for the WWE Women’s Championship: Ashley vs. Melina ©

Melina immediately tries to get outside the ring when Ashley starts scoring offense, but she’s quickly tossed back inside. Both women get in some chokes, and despite Ashley hitting some decent offense, Melina seems to be consistently in the lead. Melina ends up winning at 3:13 with a bridge pin. After the match, all the lumberjills get into a big catfight.

Analysis: I have to question the logic of this match. This went after the Money in the Bank? This went after Batista vs. Undertaker? One question: why?! Why this wasn’t the first match of the show is beyond me. It was super-quick, very boring, and the Lumberjills had all of one spot. This thing only misses “bad match” (and barely manages to do so) status because it was mercifully short and the women were admittedly all all-too-hot. **

WWE Championship Match: “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena ©

Michaels starts out the match by completely outclassing Cena: much of Cena’s offense is dodged, and he chops Cena’s chest raw. Michaels practically steals the show with a picture-perfect and incredibly astounding Asai Moonsault. After that, Michaels targets Cena’s knee very unmercifully. Michaels ends up running head-first into the ring post and gets busted open, so Cena targets Shawn’s head. Shawn is almost out of it when he takes 4 of the 5 Moves of Doom, but he reverses an F-U and inadvertently takes out the referee with some Sweet Chin Music. Michaels nails a massive Piledriver to Cena on top of the steel steps, which bloodies up Cena but is somehow kicked out of. After some finisher teases and a nice helping of false finishes, Cena locks on the STF-U for the second time in a row and gets HBK to tap out at 27:43.

Analysis: This match took a long time for it to find its flow, but it got pretty good near the end. Most of the beginning minutes felt like someone was stalling for time, that or slowly testing each other out. As far as I can tell, Cena and HBK really don’t make all that good opponents for each other. Cena’s best matches are against ruthless powerhouses that make his inevitable comebacks mean something, while Shawn’s best stuff comes from opponents that match up with his style and force him to think outside the box, whether that means getting more technical or pulling out insane stunts. There was a lot of basic offense: punching, kicking, chopping, etc. Yet the drama was amped up several notches near the end, as both men started kicking out of finishers and really taking it to each other hard. It’s a good match, all in all, but you’ll have to wait for it to get good. Some part of me honestly thinks that these two simply weren’t comfortable working with each other in this type of match, but in the end it’s all worth it because we got something very exciting. ***¼

Extra Content

Aside from the “Battle of the Billionaires” contract signing, the following match is included as a Blockbuster exclusive.

WrestleMania Rematch: Extreme Rules 8-Man Tag Team Match: The ECW Originals (Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, The Sandman and Rob Van Dam) vs. The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker and Kevin Thorn) (with Ariel)
From the April 3, 2007 edition of ECW on SciFi

Sabu hits a Springboard DDT to Matt Striker, and from there everything devolves into chaos. There’s plenty of weapon usage, Suicide Body Presses from Sandman and Sabu, Tommy Dreamer getting quadruple-teamed and beaten down with weapons, and much more. RVD hits a Rolling Thunder through a chair at the same time Sabu hits a Springboard Legdrop, with Matt Striker the unfortunate recipient of the wicked double-team maneuver. Marcus Cor Von hits the Alpha Bomb, but Sandman breaks it up. There’s more weapons usage by the Originals, then Marcus Cor Von nails the Sandman with The POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNCE, leading us into another giant chaotic cluster-****. Kevin Thorn eats a double Avalanche Legdrop through a table by Rob Van Dam and Sabu, then Sabu takes an Elijah Express through a table, giving The New breed the victory.

Analysis: This was the match I wanted at WrestleMania 23. There’s no doubt in my mind. It was ****ing insane, and oh-so-fun to watch. This was a constant clustering of extreme madness, and really felt like something vintage ECW could’ve done. It was surprising, it was dramatic, and above all else, it was one hell of a hardcore match. It wasn’t super-long, but it went on just long enough for every man to establish a firm presence as eager to win and ready to get extreme, whereas the ‘Mania match basically just let everyone hit a few spots and then call it a night. This was exactly what I was hoping for at WrestleMania 23, and the inclusion of it as a bonus match is a great addition. ***¼

Final Thoughts: WrestleMania has a lot of hype to live up to, each and every year. Not only is it the torch-bearer of mainstream United States wrestling, it’s the one event even non-wrestling fans can remember specifically by name. It’s been home to some of the biggest crowds in pro wrestling ever, some of the largest gate receipts and one-day profit earnings ever recorded, and above all else, it’s featured some of the greatest matches of all time. So, does this WrestleMania live up to the hype? In a word: sure.

Did it produce some serious cash? Yep. Did it feature some great matches? Yep. Was it worthy of the name “WrestleMania”? I’d like to think so. For one thing, it’s a card that is stacked with good matches. Some WrestleMania’s have had excellent action from bell to bell, while others have had some truly horrendous crap. Nothing was too horrendous here, but the Lumberjill match in particular had no reason to be on a WrestleMania, let alone be the final match before the main event. Then again, there was more than enough good matches to let that one little mistake slip by virtually unnoticed.

For starters, we got a phenomenal Money in the Bank Ladder Match. Everything clicked in that match, and the first match of the show ended up being the show’s best. Khali vs. Kane was no picnic trip, but even that one was mercifully brisk (and I know I’ve used the term “mercifully” to describe The Great Khali numerous times, but anyone who sees him wrestle regularly knows that there’s only one way to describe his matches that are actually any good, and that’s “mercifully”). The two championship matches and the Battle of the Billionaires match were all high-octane good times, and even the kinda-sorta-not-good-enough-for-WrestleMania ECW match is trumped by the included Bonus match that featured the Originals and The New Breed really letting loose.

So, at the end of the day, when all is said and done… is it worth a purchase, or at least a rental? It’s freakin’ WrestleMania. Of course!

Final Rating for WWE “WrestleMania 23″: ***½